Ask yourself "How Can I?"
Tuesday, 25 September 2012 12:27

All too often we don’t get or have what we want because we don’t ask the right question, which is “How Can I”. Instead we focus on why it isn’t possible and all the obstacles to achieving the goal. If only we spent 10% as much time on how we could do it or have it, the outcomes would be totally different.

A good financial fitness exercise is to practice asking yourself “How Can I” for any goal you want to accomplish. Even when you think there is no possibility, focus instead on how you could do it or have it. The exercise is to come up with at least three answers to that question no matter how absurd they might seem. For more inspiration refer to Chapter One in Financial Fitness Books for beginners.

This life-skill of asking “How Can I” provides food for thought and develops the new muscle of success. This works for every aspect of your life. For instance, let’s say you would like to spend an evening a week with just your spouse, but you have three kids and can’t afford a babysitter or any extra money to go out for dinner.

Up to now you may have simply given up on this possibility. You may even complain about the situation (which doesn’t help), you may feel that it isn’t fair and start to resent your spouse because of it. A healthier and more satisfying way to spend your energy is to:

Ask yourself “How can I”

-Do a babysitting swap with a girlfriend one night a week and go out for a picnic.

-Think of all the fun activities you and your spouse could do that doesn’t cost you any money and put those suggestions in a jar. Each week on your night out, pull out an idea and do it, such as go for a walk in the park, lock yourself in your bedroom while the babysitter looks after the kids, etc.

-Have the kids go to a swap babysitter and have a nice evening in with a simple or elaborate dinner followed by cards, a board game, and a movie or simply talking and enjoying one another.

Now, it is very likely that your conditioned mind, might automatically default to objections to these suggestions. We don’t have anyone we could swap babysitting with. We don’t have a nice park nearby. We can’t afford the gas to go anywhere. Going on a picnic would be boring, etc, etc. You get my point. It truly is amazing how quickly we can be negative.

The idea of coming up with three ideas is that it starts you thinking and from these ideas you may be able to expand on them and come up with concrete answers. If the obstacle is not having a babysitter to swap with, don’t let that stop you. Rather than swap babysitting services, get a babysitter in exchange for something else you could offer such as help with a website, cleaning help, etc. Lots of people are interested in trading their skills and services rather than paying for them. Be creative and be solutions orientated, rather than negative. Begin creating a new life for yourself today and strengthen your “How Can I” muscle on just one problem at a time and you will be well rewarded for your efforts.